It has come to our attention that self-employed people have somehow escaped the burden of “office policies”. No longer. Now even work-from-home hermits can revel in the burden of “office policies.” (This is part three of a series that began at http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.html and continued at http://thehappyguy.com/pajamas.html .)

Every office needs office policies, if for no other reason to keep employees from scratching each others’ eyes out or “borrowing” company equipment. The home office is no exception.

If you are wondering why somebody barricaded alone in his basement needs a policy to keep him from stealing his own office equipment, you have obviously never sat alone in your basement 23 hours a day, day after day, in front of a computer screen that freezes every now and then just out of sadistic spite.

Policies designed to keep employees from scratching each others’ eyes out are even more important in a home office. In a corporate setting, spiteful employees go home at night and forget the objects of their loathing. But when one detests oneself, office politics often gets too personal to just forget. And that pest even follows you into the shower…when you take one, that is.

Here are a few guidelines you can use to formulate practical home office policies, just in case you get the hankering to live the glamorous life of the work-from-home hermit.

Every office has rules against sexual harassment. Due to legal requirements, you must adopt a zero tolerance policy for such insensitive advances. If your spouse complains about such a policy, seek legal council. Divorce can be ugly.

Office romance is another story. Most companies permit office romances, as long as there is not an actual office involved. In the home office, romance is encouraged, mostly to avoid the legal repercussions mentioned above.

Generally, spouses do not frown on home office affairs, either. In fact, they usually approve such morale-building activities…as long as this function is not outsourced.

Inventory control in the home office is key. Large companies have policies like: “It is forbidden to remove paper fastening devices from company premises, except within envelopes being disseminated through official company channels.”